Dearest, darling Cole...I thought we had an agreement. After learning about how soon I picked you in my draft, you promised me that you'd do really well the rest of this season so as to keep my fantasy baseball stats up. And then what do you do? You take a loss in a game against the Cardinals. I'm deeply saddened by this, Cole. I mean, you promised. Must I go find a new favorite pitcher who keeps his promises to win games for me and get me Ks?* Former Phillie Kyle Lohse did well in that very game in which you took the loss, and I wouldn't kick him outta my bed for eating crackers, you know what I'm sayin'? C'mon, Cole, get back on your game. I want some Ks from you. And, you know, a marriage proposal, despite the fact that you're already married. But those Ks are mighty important, especially during fantasy baseball season--we can talk marriage once the season is over, I've won my league, and the Phils have won the World Series...sound good to you?* I kid, I kid. Hamels will be my favorite pitcher for, like, ever. Even if he loses a game once in a while.
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