This picture of two of my favorite Phillies made me smile. I smiled even more when I read the caption. Pat Burrell, you can come on over here and go deep anytime, baby. You know, with a home run that's hit really hard--uh, long--um, past the fence...? Yeah.
Dearest, darling Cole...I thought we had an agreement. After learning about how soon I picked you in my draft, you promised me that you'd do really well the rest of this season so as to keep my fantasy baseball stats up. And then what do you do? You take a loss in a game against the Cardinals. I'm deeply saddened by this, Cole. I mean, you promised. Must I go find a new favorite pitcher who keeps his promises to win games for me and get me Ks?* Former Phillie Kyle Lohse did well in that very game in which you took the loss, and I wouldn't kick him outta my bed for eating crackers, you know what I'm sayin'? C'mon, Cole, get back on your game. I want some Ks from you. And, you know, a marriage proposal, despite the fact that you're already married. But those Ks are mighty important, especially during fantasy baseball season--we can talk marriage once the season is over, I've won my league, and the Phils have won the World Series...sound good to you?
Okay, Twins fans--I get it. You're passionate about your team. Hell, I am, too--at least when it comes to super-hot Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau. And it's quite considerate of you (in a strange way) to chuck stuff onto the field in an odd display of support for your team. It's kind of bizarre to me--after all, when we Philly fans are pissed off, all we do is boo. We don't throw stuff; we're too busy booing and swearing. Plus, our seventh innings just involve stretches, not projectile-throwing. But as odd as this behavior seems to me, I do have to commend you for at least not hitting any attractive players on the head with projectiles. Because if the headline of this Yahoo article had read "Mauer knocked out by flying Coke bottle" or "Morneau gets black eye from airborne bag of peanuts," I'd have been pissed, you guys--really pissed. Good aim, Twins fans--good aim.
