MOVIN' ON UP...

After finding out that they let anybody (even girls like me who think that the hotness of a player's hair or butt is just as important as the number of runs he's scored in a game) have a baseball-related blog at MLBlogs, I decided to move The BILF Report on over there! All your favorite BILF-related banter can now be found at...

http://bilfreporter.mlblogs.com/

Please update your bookmarks and c'mon over to say hi to me on my new MLBlogs site! :)

HOW 'BOUT THOSE PHILLIES, HUH?

Wow. What an incredible couple of days in the world of Phillies baseball. Today's an off day for the Phillies--they'll continue their series with the Dodgers tomorrow in Los Angeles. Presently the Phillies are up 2-0 in the series, with some pretty incredible stuff happening in the first two games.

Game 1: Cole Hamels pitched well, despite giving Manny a nice little wild pitch to hit early on in the game. Chase Utley, Ryan Howard, and Pat Burrell did quite well offensively. (Nice to see Utley back on his game!) Despite the fact that the Dodgers were the first team to put a run on the board, they managed to fall to the Phillies 3-2. Hey, I'm not complainin'. If you want more details on what happened during this game, click here. (Also: my inner word nerd loves the term "Utlage," coined around the 10:07 mark.)

Game 2: Brett Myers vs. Chad Billingsley. The latter is not cute, not cute at all, since for the length of this series I've issued a moratorium on Dodgers being cute. He's a troll. A troll who got removed in the third inning 'cause the Phillies turned it into a slugfest. And at the heart of that slugfest? Brett freakin' Meyers. Last week he terrorized CC Sabathia with his at-plate performance. This time around, he caused even more damage by batting 1.000, having 3 base hits in his first 3 at-bats, becoming only the eighth pitcher in baseball history to have a 3-hit game during the postseason. Well done, Myers! The coolest Hawaiian in baseball, Shane Victorino, also had a hell of a night at the plate (singling, tripling, driving in runs...oh my!), plus he made an amazing play on a Casey Blake-hit ball that would have allowed the Dodgers to rack up some extra runs had Victorino not caught it. (Also: Condolences to Victorino on the passing of his grandmother, and to Charlie Manuel on the passing of his mother. And happy, happy birthday to Pat the Bat!) Props to the Phillies bullpen for working their magic and to Greg Dobbs for hitting a totally hot .667 average yesterday. The Phillies won game 2 of the NLCS 8-5 and have now become the 19th team in history to win the first 2 games of the NLCS, which is fabulous news because, of the teams that have started this series with a 2-0 lead, 16 of those 18 teams have ended up winning the series. Let's hope that the Phillies can become #17... They've got an off day today, but the baseball goodness starts back up again tomorrow at Dodger Stadium at 8:22 PM.

In other playoff team-related chatter, look at what those American League female fans are doing for their teams! (That being said, if my favorite AL team, the super-smokin'-hot Twins, were in the postseason, I just might be doing something crazy like this, too.) In the ALCS, the BoSox lead the series 1-0, with the next game in the series happening today.

LET'S GO, PHILLIES!

Ooh, I am SO excited for the Phillies to start their NLCS series games! The Phillies' starting pitcher tonight for game 1 of this series is the BILFiest BILF of them all--Cole Hamels, pitching superstar! Yummy!

I'm optimistic about this series with the Dodgers. Yes, they have Manny--and yes, he's damn good. (And they have Andre Ethier, too, who is not only talented, but hot...AND a foodie, apparently! But until this series is over and the Phillies have kicked the Dodgers' butts, I--as a loyal Phillies fan--am not allowing myself to admit that there are any BILFalicious guys wearing Dodger blue. So from now until, like, the end of next weekend, Ethier is a total troll to me, even though he's really not. Make sense?) The Phillies have home-field advantage in this series, and that is most definitely a good thing. The Phillies pitched well during the last series they played, with the Brewers. Burrell, Victorino, and Werth have all had hot bats (among, um, hot other things) during the postseason. If the Phillies can get Utley and Howard's hitting up to par--and do something about the bottom of the order, since Feliz and Ruiz weren't terribly productive in the NLDS--they will truly be a force to be reckoned with.

In a very crafty display of Phillies pride, I decorated a pumpkin with red glitter and pinstripes...behold!

The front:













And the back...













Let's go, BILFtastic Phillies!!!

PAT'S GOT A HOT BAT!

Holy good goddamn, Pat Burrell. I'm so glad you finally showed up to the party! And by "party," I mean "playoff game."

Mr. Burrell has achieved hero status in Philly today. He hit a three-run homer and then another homer in game 4 of the Phillies/Brewers series (that'll teach 'em to intentionally walk R-Ho to get to you, huh, Pat?). Beautiful. Just beautiful. I love Pat's dingers (tee-hee!).

With Pat the Bat's totally hot home runs today--and also due to J-Roll's lead-off homer, Jayson Werth's homer immediately following Pat's first homer, and outstanding pitching by Joe Blanton--they managed to win the game 6-2...and advance in the playoffs for the first time since 1993! How exciting! The Phillies will battle it out with the Dodgers for the National League title (click here for the schedule of games). Can the hotness that is Chase Utley, Cole Hamels, Pat Burrell, Jayson Werth, and Greg Dobbs (honorable mention: Geoff Jenkins' hot smile and Ryan Madson's pretty eyes) take on Manny, Billingsley, and the rest of the Dodgers? I think so. (I hope so, anyway.) My prediction is that the Phillies win it in 6 and advance to the Series. And your prediction is...?

Also: I'd like to give a quick shout-out to my friend Justin. He's been a Milwaukee Brewers fan his entire life, and today he and I watched our favorite teams duke it out in the playoffs. Props to Justin for handling his team's loss way better than I probably would have handled it had the Phillies gotten knocked out of the playoffs, for putting up with my screams of "I LOVE YOU, PAT BURRELL!!!" every time Pat did something good, putting up with my constant ogling of Greg Dobbs' sweet ass, and not cringing at the scream/squawk/squeal I let out when the Phillies won today's game. Justin was recently interviewed in a baseball-related article, which you can check out by clicking here!

PHILLIES PLAYOFF MADNESS, ETC.

My oh my, has it ever been a super-hyper week for this little Phillies fan. I've got a lot to talk about--and it's not even all Phillies-related, I swear!

First things first. Cole fucking Hamels. The BILFiest BILF pitcher of them all. He is a pitching GOD. He pitched 8 scoreless innings in the Phillies' first playoff game against the Brewers. My parents were at the game--I'm sooooo jealous. (Last time I saw Hamels pitch, it was when he imploded against the Mets during that day/night doubleheader in early September at Shea Stadium. I don't think I've ever been to a game where Hamels has won. Luckily, I've seen plenty of his wins on TV, though!) Anyway. Hamels pitched awesomely in the first game of the Phils/Brewers series. Then Brad Lidge scared the shit out of everybody in the ninth inning, but hey, the Phils won 3-1, so that's all that really matters, right?

Then today, Brett Myers pitched a fantastic game against the Brewers (and even caused some chaos at bat, making Sabathia throw him lots of pitches!). Here I'd thought we were doomed, because Myers' last few starts weren't so hot, plus the Phillies were facing the mighty Sabathia. But the Phillies managed to chase Sabathia out of the game by the fourth inning, at which point the Phillies were leading 5-1. Shane Victorino hit a lovely little grand slam in the second inning. Beautiful! I'm deeming Victorino and Myers honorary BILFs today. They're not the cutest Phillies, but they are playoff superstars! The Phillies ended up winning the game, 5-2. Love it! (Want more details on how everything played out? Go here for fun, snarky commentary.)

The Phillies have me a little worried, since a) in each playoff game so far, they've scored all their runs in ONE inning, and b) they stranded at least 10 guys on base tonight. But the next time they play is Saturday, at Miller Park, and Jamie Moyer's pitching, so...let's hope something good happens for the Phillies there, you know what I'm sayin'? I won't say any more about this--I don't wanna jinx 'em. (We Philly sports fans are superstitious like that.)

Another note about the Phils/Brewers series: WTF happened to JJ Hardy? The scruff's gotta go, dude. It's just gotta go.

On an anti-Mets note: I fucking love this. I laughed my cute little ass off when I read it. Then I read it again so I could laugh some more. (I'm sad that the Yankees aren't in the postseason this year, but I'm ecstatic that the Mets aren't there. Obviously.)

On a totally superficial note, I'm really pissed that the Twins lost Monday night's tiebreaker game against the ChiSox. I sooooo wanted to see Joe Mauer, Joe Nathan, and Justin Morneau play some playoff games. I wouldn't have cared that much if they won, though. I just wanted to look at 'em. (Do they make midwestern boys cuter than east coast boys? These Twins are hot. Are they all like that out there? Do I need to move to some state in the middle of the country? Would the eye candy be worth it?) However: I did note that the White Sox have a catcher who appears to be somewhat cute. He has pretty blonde hair--I don't know if he's a decent catcher or not, but I dig his hair. It's this dude AJ Pierzynski (why is it that EVERY guy named AJ is smokin' hot? What IS it about that name?), whose last name I've just learned how to spell, which satisfied my inner spelling bee queen.

In other news: The Dodgers are kicking the shit out of the Cubs. Does anyone in LA actually give a damn? Or even know anyone who gives a damn?

And finally: In my first year of doing fantasy baseball, my BILFs and I came in second place! Woo-hoo! Here's the proof:

JUST WONDERING...

...Why the long faces, guys? It looks like someone ran over your pet puppy-dogs. You actually look like you're mourning something.

Oh, right. You're mourning the loss of yet another playoff opportunity. You're sad because again, your playoff hopes hinged on the last game of the season, which you blew. You're pissy because your rivals, the Philadelphia Phillies, were right (again!) in saying that they're the team to beat this year.

You're pissed that even the mighty Santana couldn't get you to the playoffs. And that your bullpen blows. And that Wagner needs surgery. Those are all valid reasons to be aggravated.

Equally valid is the point that you guys will be sitting at home sullenly watching your televisions as the Phillies take on the Brewers on Wednesday night. (You'll probably be rooting hardcore for the Brewers and chucking empty beer cans at the TV every time J-Roll or Ryan Howard comes up to bat. I understand--you're bitter.)

S'OK, Mets. Maybe next year, right *snicker*? But hopefully--and probably--not!

PHIRST PLACE...AGAIN!!!

Beautiful! Just beautiful. :) For the second year in a row, my beloved Philadelphia Phillies are the NL East Champions! For the second year in a row, it almost looked like they weren't going to get that title, but somehow--somehow!--they did it again.

Hopefully this year they won't get the shit kicked out of them in the first round of playoffs like they did last year (I'm still a little bitter toward the Rockies for so thoroughly trouncing my Phillies). Hopefully this year they're a more seasoned team that knows what to expect in the playoffs and goes in there and gets the job done. It looks like they'll either be playing the NL Wild Card winner or maybe the Dodgers. I'm hoping they play the Brewers, because I like them better, and I think (hope) the Phillies would have an easier time beating the Brewers than they would the Dodgers. It all comes down to today (and potentially tomorrow, too!) to determine which team gets the NL Wild Card. Right this very minute, the Fish are up 1-0 over the Mets in the 6th, and the Cubbies are up 1-0 over the Brew Crew in the 5th. If both the Mets and Brewers lose today, they'll play a tiebreaker game tomorrow. I'm waiting rather anxiously to find out what happens with both of these teams. As a die-hard Phillies fan, I don't wanna see those icky Mets go to the playoffs!

Anyway. Congratulations to the Fightin' Phils for a second stellar (albeit nail-biting, harrowing, and downright frightening at times) season of kickin' ass, takin' names, and (Hamels, Utley, Dobbs, Werth, Burrell...I'm talking to you here) lookin' hot! In honor of the Phillies, I've painted my nails red and am going to wear my red pants to work tomorrow. Yeah, I know--I'm such a girl.

But I'm a girl who gets to watch her favorite baseball team compete in the playoffs this year! WOO-HOO!!!!! (And guess what? Hamels is scheduled to pitch Game 1 of the NLDS series. HOT!)